Attachment: The importance of being there for your children

The importance of healthy attachment to a caregiver.

·        Attachment is the emotional bond that forms between a child and their primary caregiver, usually the mother, in the first few years of life.

·        Attachment influences how a child learns to trust, explore, and relate to others and themselves throughout their lifespan.

·        Attachment shapes the development of the brain, especially the areas that regulate emotions, stress, and social skills.

o   An example of neglect is the infamous Romanian orphans that were left unattended and how lack of healthy attachments led to deterioration in the brain’s white matter (their brains didn’t grow, and shrunk).

A side by side comparison example of a healthy brain and a brain of someone who has suffered extreme neglect. Note the differences in brain size.

·        Attachment can be secure or insecure, depending on the quality and consistency of the caregiver's response to the child's needs and signals.

·        Secure attachment is associated with positive outcomes in cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioural domains, while insecure attachment is linked to higher risks of developmental problems, mental disorders, and poor relationships.

How does Attachment Develop in Infancy and Early Childhood?

·        Attachment develops through a series of interactions between the child and the caregiver, starting from birth.

·        The child expresses their needs and emotions through crying, smiling, babbling, and gestures, and the caregiver responds by providing comfort, stimulation, and guidance.

·        The caregiver also initiates positive interactions by playing, talking, and cuddling with the child.

·        Through these exchanges, the child learns to recognise and anticipate the caregiver's behaviour, and to adjust their own behaviour accordingly.

·        The child also develops a sense of security and confidence in the caregiver's availability and responsiveness, which enables them to explore the environment and learn new skills.

·        The attachment bond becomes stronger and more stable as the child grows older and the caregiver remains consistent and sensitive.

What are the Benefits of Strong Attachment with Parents and the Wider Family?

·        Strong attachment with parents and the wider family provides a secure base, an anchor back from which s/he can pull themselves back to safety whilst they navigate the scary world outside. This is the most important aspect in creating an emotionally healthy adult.

·        A secure base is a source of support and encouragement that allows the child to venture out and try new things, while knowing that they can always return to the caregiver for reassurance and comfort.

·        Parents and caregivers can serve as a refuge of protection and care that helps the child cope with stress, fear, and uncertainty, while restoring their sense of calm and well-being.

·        Strong attachment with parents and the wider family also fosters the development of social and emotional skills, such as empathy, cooperation, self-regulation, and problem-solving.

·        Strong attachment with parents and the wider family also promotes the formation of a positive self-image and identity, as the child internalises the caregiver's positive regard and acceptance.

·        Strong attachment with parents and the wider family also enhances the child's resilience and mental health, as they learn to cope with challenges and adversity, and to seek and receive help when needed.

Anxiety disorders and their relationship to early/late childhood attachment:

Research has shown that a good and healthy relationship with parents and the wider family can prevent or reduce the risk of anxiety disorders in children, by providing them with the following benefits:

o   A sense of security and trust that reduces the perception of threat and uncertainty, and increases the confidence and optimism in facing challenges.

o   A source of emotional support and validation that reduces the intensity and duration of negative emotions, and increases the expression and regulation of emotions.

o   A model of coping and problem-solving skills that reduces the avoidance and escalation of anxiety, and increases the use of adaptive and effective strategies.

o   A network of social support and resources that reduces the isolation and helplessness, and increases the access and utilisation of help and guidance.